As an extrovert, I love conversations. I love to listen to them, analyze them, and reflect on them. Even my own. Which got me thinking - have I ever thought I was having a funny, clever, or intriguing conversation when it was really just a boring, lame conversation that happens ALL THE TIME? Here are some examples of conversations that I think people have when they're in certain situations, which they think are funny, clever, or insightful, but are actually probably incredibly boring and painful for others around.
SCENARIO #1: Chinese Buffet
Have you ever been to a Chinese buffet and had a conversation before entering about how you were gonna "wreck this place" or how they were "gonna lose money on you"? I bet you have. How about after you're done, and you say something like "Oh man, you're gonna have to get a stretcher to take me out of here." You probably think it's very funny, but I can guarantee you, the employees must hear this conversation at least 100 times a day.
SCENARIO #2: Dollar Store
I know I'm not the only person who's ever gone into a dollar store begrudgingly or "just to look" and found some cool stuff in there. This is all well and good, until this conversation ensues: "They actually have some good stuff in here!" (As if there would be a million of these stores in existence if they sold nothing but crap, by the way.) "I can't believe they sell this stuff for $1!!! I better make sure everything's a dollar (coincidently this is often the store name). Ma'am? Is everything in here just a dollar?"
SCENARIO #3: Gas Station
While I've never worked at a gas station, I have done a considerable amount of field research on this one since I commute so much and know most gas station attendants by name. Every time I am in the gas station, someone inevitably talks about gas prices to the clerk, as if his or her conversation repertoire is limited to the price of oil or, better yet, they have some control over it. Talk to them about anything else besides gas prices. How the Wiggles are breaking up. Whether the Browns will cover the spread this week. Danny DeVito drunk on The View. Anything. I can understand the occassional comment, but give these people a break. Furthermore, I've noticed that these conversations take one of two turns.The first is what I like to call the "hell in a handbasket" conversation. This entails some talk about how expensive gas is, followed by some loose ramblings about how he's going to have to sell his dog, put his child up on EBAY, or donate an organ to pay for gas if it gets any higher. Then he promptly buys cigarettes and a 20 oz. soda.
The second turn is what I call "insider info" whereby the customer tries to get the inside scoop on when prices will fall or increase, as if anyone has any idea. "Well sir, judging by the price of crude oil in Saskatchewan, the latest S&P 500 trends, and wildfires in the northern plains, you should see a 8 cent increase tomorrow at around 1:15, give or take a minute."
Concluding Thought
These conversations must stop for the sake of my sanity, and more importantly the sanity of those people who work in these environments. My sanity has enough stress due to this crazy weather here in the Midwest. I tell you what, this weather is so unpredictable. Hot, cold, 65 one day, 35 the next. I tell you....
